Everyday Superhero
26Mar2006
Yesterday whilst recovering from the after-effects of a whisky tasting evening, I got thinking about what superhuman attributes I possessed, and what persona I would adopt to use those abilities. This is what I came up with:
Superhero #1: Clumso
Alias: The Man with the Two Left Feet.
Powers: Has the ability to make any baddie become immediately clumsy, causing them to trip up, fall over themselves, or unwittingly plummet from a great height to the ground (because you know how baddies always try and make their monologues from the top of a skyscraper).
Why? – I am an avid sailor, but I am also renowned for being somewhat clumsy. The six stitches (head) and three broken ribs (uh, chest) are a testament to that. I have kicked out many a boat speaker, tripped on many a line, and generally banged most parts of my body. That’s why I stick to foredeck duties – they generally keep me out of the way of anyone else on board. Oh, and the boom. Why is it called the boom? Because that is the noise it makes when it hits me on the head…
Superhero #2: MetroMan
Alias: The Man with the Devastating Dress Sense.
Powers: Has the ability to make baddies become overcome with sartorial elegance, causing their henchmen to roll over laughing at their Charles Tyrwhitt french-cuffed shirts. After all, how can a baddie be mean and well-dressed at the same time? (OK, I guess Gustav Graves in Die Another Day was an obvious exception to the rule).
Why? Well, it has to be said that I have often been called a metrosexual because of my penchant for french cuffs, cufflinks and bespoke tailoring. Oh, and yes, my collars do match my cuffs…
Superhero #3: Perspiro
Alias: Mr Salty.
Powers: Has the ability to drown anyone in a sea of strong, salty sweat.
Why? I guess I don’t really have to explain this one. I sweat at the thought of sweating. I sweat even in the coldest weather. When I wear a sweater, I make the name stick.
Of course, regardless of persona, I would be accompanied by my trusted sidekick (why are sidekicks always trusted?), Hamish the Hypnocat. He has the ability to send anyone into a doze at 20 paces. What superhero would you be?
Creative post and an enjoyable read. I’ve always despised the term ‘Metrosexual’. I’ve been called it by friends in the past, and it drives me nuts. What are your thoughts on the term? I think I’m going to start calling them ‘MetroStanza’ due to their George Costanza-like style (or lack of). As of late, my superhero would be…
Super Hero: Water Boy
Powers: Ability to turn beer and dark rum into water.
Why? Lately I feel like I’m a machine, consistenly converting alcohol into water. It’s been one of those months…
fries with gravy – Nice superhero. I think I could be Water Boy at the moment too. As far as metrosexual is concerned, it doesn’t really bother me. I just think they are envious. Oh, and I’m a narcissist too !
nice.
Just had to say your photography is amazing and your blog is quite entertaining too.
hELLO. im from Argentina. At the southest of the map. Yet America.
We still in summer in despite of the date.
I´liked your Blog. Most of all, this issue of the Super Being.
We have here the Super Gaucho.
Yes. Is a guy who doesnt have much more super powers, but its a very macho man, at least in the outside.
Nothing to do whit the metro sexual guy. This is filthy (sorry for my english) (here we speak spanish) his nails are almost black
the same the hair. Never uses shampoo so is thought hard and dry
But is a good guy. A real worker.
He likes to drive horses, has a dog that goes with running the pampas.
There are a few of them. Cities have won. Cars smashes the last free gauchos of the pampas.
If you pay a dime, you can see them in an controlled habitat. Behind bars, of course. His home, the “rancho” techo de paja.
His wife ” la china ” and their kids .
Ok. This is an attempt to get closer to people from other countries, to get the notion that all we are the same.
PS. That Bermuda Triangle issue …
Is a real thing ?
I would like see an answer.
See you later.
I would have to say I would probably be known as “Man Repellant”…
AKA “Eternal Re-Virgin”
I have an uncanny ability to stay out of a relationship for years (yes, YEARS). I don’t know how and I don’t really know why, call it a gift I really didn’t want. And it’s not that I’m a relationship killer – I can’t even get to that point! Although, who knows, I might find this superpower a blessing some day…
I would be The Unavoidable Talker
Powers: Has the ability to talk to people for a great duration and on a topic of such low interst that it practically kills them.
zdLOL……
xD
I LOVE yoUR BLOG>…..
xD
i’m out of time when i see your posts……
x)
U should write a book.. a comic.. i dunno…
xD
Just love u
^^
Take a break and go on my blog to post on guestbook….
tnx…
(just to remember, i love u! =])
Cya
cufflinks…why yes…
as for superheroes, i’d have to be something with laserbeams.
satan/anonymous – thanks
alberto – Super Gaucho sounds great. Sounds like ‘MachoMan’ to me. Oh, and that Bermuda Triangle thing is all fabrication…
aimee – I hope you decide to hang up that cape soon…
author312 – I have been known to have those abilities too…
call us brasil – thanks
rudy glyff – laserbeams are always good.
Good Monday Morning Tom,
I would have to say I am Miss Confusion-ite.
Bumbling around, not knowing which end is up ‘cept when it is my ass when I trip over something and it hurts someplace.
How much longer is life suppose to be this way, or do we simply accept we are bumbling fools?
Love the post, very clever this morning, started my day off with a smile sweetie, thanks.
DOO DAH – I think the problem with your superhero persona is that those abilities seem to get worse as we get older…thanks for the kind comments, BTW.
really great blog!
come to visit mine !
bYe !
Your photography is astounding, profound and whimsical. How DO you do it? Shames me to look at my amateur stuff!
Cool Post. If I was a superhero:
ParkourBoy:
Can Run on walls and parkour on people…
hehe
Visit My Site:
http://www.parkourphysce.blogspot.com/
I would be SmileyGal possessing the inherent ability to continue smiling even when caught offguard with a strange comment or event. While having the appearance of paying attention SmileyGal is actually contemplating what she is going to have for dinner or wear the next day. She smiles and nods at appropriate moments all while ducking the evils of the boring conversationalist.
fabry – thanks
‘p – Thanks – I am still learning, so I hope to get better yet. It is more luck than judgement.
gradster – that parkour stuff looks great – need to try it myself some time.
clearlykels – LOL. I like that. I am not quite as convincing – people tend to know when I am not paying attention. Especially the cat.
The geniuses at Discovery Channel (or some such) seem to think the Bermuda Triangle phenomena have to do with humongous gas bubbles that surface suddenly, swallowing entire ships at once. Personally, I’d rather subscibe to the Martian theory, but who cares?
My super-alter-ego: Amnesia Girl! With the uncanny ability to forget entire people and conversations in an instant! Accompanied by her trusty companion: ADD man!
(Why do superheroes use so many exclamation points?)
brilliant! a night of whiskey tasting will certainly endow you with thoughts like that. what were you sampling? bourbon is always liable to give me wondrously creativity, as well as a wondrously potent hangover. take it easy matey
found your site at random on “blogs of note” very good post.
Here goes:
Superhero: Sarcasmo
Powers: able to reduce anyone who works for me (so I guess mainly my trusted sidekick.) to laughter or tears at the drop of my stylish chapeau.
Why? the laughter part is easy, it’s the replacing the sidekicks I’m finding hard.
Loved the post,
Cheers
your photography is fabulous, full of life. thank you for posting them.
hello ,
i really really like the atmosphear of this blog
i come here so oftenly ! and i just want to say that
i love your space !
but i am also here to promote my web ! i do Digital Art Design !
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i hope you will come to visit me
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take care
bellxone, bordeaux, FRANCE, Europe, HUMANITY
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Rebecca – Amnesia Girl – wouldn’t you keep forgetting your superhuman powers?
ngp – it was scotch whisky. The ones we tasted were: Glenury Royal, Rosebank, Johnnie Walker Blue, Bruichladdich and Glenfiddich Rum Finished. All very nice.
Chelf – it’s always hard to find or replace trusted sidekicks. I like Sarcasmo.
jromer/bellxone – thanks for the comments.
this really is a great shot … slightly scary, like a braindead psychpathic zombie wierdo sorta thing!! – & i mean that in the nicest kinda way!!! lol
seriously … i love the pic!
i’m gonna be real careful next time i’m shaving in a retractable mirror thing … just in case!
cheers
C
WELL THEN I MUST SAY….I WOULD HAVE TO BE………SPOONCHICK…
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW…LOL BUT WELL DONE ON THE BLOG IT REALLY GOT ME THINKING…
AND ARE YOU REALLY A NARCISSIST??
IF SO HOW DEEP OF ONE ARE YOU? I WOULD LIKE TO BE SOMETHING THING THAT CAN SWIM………
MrC – thanks.
anti-pixie – I get it. Am I a narcissist? You will need to ask my favourite person … who is … me ! I guess that answers it then
nice photo…i like it…
My superhero alter-ego would be
Shrinky-Dink. My power: the ability to shrink or enlarge anything I touch at will. And there wouldn’t be any of that crazy physics involved–if I enlarged something tiny into something big, it wouldn’t collapse under its own weight or anything.
Consider this super-power next time you’re in Target or someplace. You see the neatest little decorative piece of furniture or something–like a really nice Adirondack chair–only it’s about six inches tall. So you buy it for $9.99 and you take it home, then you enlarge it to perfect adult size. You furnish your entire patio this way for a total of like 30 bucks.
Think about it. It’s the ultimate power. Works on EVERYTHING–people, cars, big heavy bags of groceries, etc. Think of that great ride you’d have when you enlarged your favorite HotWheels car. Of course, you’d have to get an engine… but those are details. Don’t mire me in the details.
marius – thanks
dzugman – enlarge anything?…hmm, that gives me a number of ideas
Well, I would be super dancer-not! I started my career on the floors with a “ska-ska” choreography of open right foot to the right then left foot close to the right,and vice versa… Won me the last rank in the dance contest (traumatic experiences those children parties). But it is a developping super hero persona. It went to stiff movements earning comments as don’t force yourself if you don’t want it, to come up to complete loose, graceous post-wine manoevres! Best trait: persistence!