Hamish Fan Club
30Mar2006
A while back someone mentioned that Hamish should have his own fan club. I thought that might be a good idea, but realised that him being a cat means that I would have to do all the work, as he doesn’t like to over-extend himself (unless it’s to stretch, that is).
So, if you were to become a member of the Hamish Fan Club, what membership gifts and benefits would you receive?
1. A Hamish Alarm Clock
This fantastic clock wakes you up at completely random times during the night with a meow, totally disrupting your sleep patterns and leaving you dog-tired in the morning.
2. A Hamish Lint-Roller
Not your usual design – this one rolls hair onto your clothes, towels, bedclothes and furniture. A great way to have a personal memento of him.
3. Hamish-Grade Scented SandPaper
This sandpaper, graded extremely rough, would act as a reminder of him licking your face on a Sunday morning. You can choose from the following scents: cat-breath, cat-food or shoe-leather.
4. A Pussy Pinup Calendar
Hamish is a native of Bermuda and is also a rescue cat, so he would like you to know of the good work done by the Bermuda SPCA, as they helped him out when he was down on his luck. The calendar contains pictures of his favourite foxy females.
5. A Poetry Reading
Hamish likes poetry (not quite as much as he loves my thick white turkish bathrobe, though). You would receive an audio recording of his favourite poem meowed by him personally. Currently, this is his favourite:
Steam-roller;
Persian Cat,
Moments later -
Furry mat!
Would you join?
Only if it meant you would come and photograph my kitties and my bunny, because your photos are the greatest. Hope that wasn’t too gushing, but I love that photo of Hamish. However, as you live off-continent, I suppose I should just forget having you come take pics of the kitties and bunny…. What the hell. I’ll join.
Thank goodness you finally blogged. My day is now set (it is half past 1, by God)!
I believe I will settle for a Hamish attitude for my free gift. Ahhhhh, to have the life (or 9) of a cat.
Who else can give you a “I dont give a flip” look better than a cat?
Having no kittens of my own, I’d join. Besides, his name is Hammish. I mean, who can refuse?
Well, if I were to join the Hamish fan club, the present I would want to have would be… Hamish! (deep wish to possess my idol…)
But… er… it’s a cat isn’t it?… er… Not that it’s any cat… and it’s not that I am not that fond of cats… er…
(sorry!)
perhaps I shouldn’t comment today but I just didn’t want to resist.
i would want Hamish to leave an outgoing voicemail on my phone. or maybe an Hamish cut out for my car.
he’s such a cute cat. and this is coming from a dog person. in fact i’ve linked your blog to mine, and the link reads : Hamish’s Pet Human.
Absolutly I would join! With a face like that how could you not be a huge fan? By the way, if Hammish isn’t seeing anybody I have a pretty little kitty named Luna who is also a big fan whose dying to meet him
What? Hamish’s Fan Club doesn’t give you the occasional “present” from outside, usually still flapping its wings?
Hamish is adorable and his cute face looks a lot like my curiosity’s they have similar marikings is he grey or orange? She is grey. I don’t have a photo that does her justice.
I would so join the Hamish Fan Club, he’s one cute muffin! Where do I sign up? Oh, and my confidentiality would be highly respected, right??? Because if the Grand Emperor Caticus, ruler of my world, found out…well there would be some serious retribution. Please only plain brown evelopes for correspondence
oh yeah, awesome blog dude!
I will join too. Do we have Hamish Fan Club Cards? We can travel the world and identify the other members by the card, or a pin.
.
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone’s goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I’m having a whale of a time!
You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.
Please remember to never
restrict anyone’s opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.
There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.
Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami
P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic “identity politics,”
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison.”
dguzman – thanks. What would you say if I told you Hamish takes all the photos, and I am just his fron man?
doo dah – sorry about that. This post sat as a draft and then I got bogged down with human stuff.
mckenzie – originally I wanted to name him caol ila (my favourite malt, but it’s a bit of a girlie name) or uisce (gaelic for water). But as he can be a bit grumpy, I though Hamish suited best.
e.i. – Hamish is a cat, but don’t tell him that!
jromer – Hamish’s Pet Human sums it up. A cutout would be a great idea – probably this one
allykay – Luna sounds nice. Maybe I should build a cat dating website – it could be a big hit. Luna may not be quite so interested when she hears that he is missing a few things – and I don’t mean brain cells…
sportychick – he is too lazy for that
mini driver – Hamish is grey.
monqueii – brown envelopes it is
carol – if members use the Hamish Lint Roller, you will be able to recognise them easily …
whoami – umm, thanks for that.
no offense or anything, but I probably wouldn’t join (ha ha ha)
my cat and i will join if you give out cat-paw back scratchers as membership welcome gifts. for that hard to reach itch. not made of real cat paws, of course!
author312 – no problem
frozen ananas – great idea!
hooray! The idea has been launched!
I’d be thrilled just to be a member… but I’d pay money for a Hamish calendar! Also, Hamish-wear (non-fur-covered) like pins or something might be fun, if we were travelling and ran into another Hamish fan. I LIKE the name Hamish.
I really like Hamish so much~!
I have two cats too, they are quite naughty~! One of it is american short hair, and the other is scotish fold~ Fan club is a good idea~ ^O^~ I really want to hear his “meow~” !!
Meow, AT – thanks for wanting to be members. Hamish would be very happy if he knew (but I’m not going to tell him)…