Vision of the Future
28Mar2006
Some people have ideas of what the future will look like. They like to be called visionaries. When looking ahead, others like to think of going boldly where no man has gone before, in that Star Trek sort of way (and I mean Classic, not Next Generation).
My own personal view is that there are a few developments I would like to see happen in the very near future, mainly to ease my day-to-day life existence. Why? Because technology needs to work better for us, and I guess I am just lazy like that.
Some of those developments are:
1. A self-warming razor which automatically cauterizes cuts
Forget the razor blade arms race – mach3 (3 blades), quattro (4), fusion (confusingly, 5+1) – I don’t care how many blades a razor has (actually, none would be nice), I want one which does not cut – is that so difficult? And if it does cut, it at least cauterizes the wound or applies stitches (surely everyone has had a cut that bad, right?). And don’t tell me about electric razors. They just don’t work on my brillo-pad strength stubble.
2. Intelligent Elevators. This one can’t be that hard. I want an elevator which comes when I walk up to it without me needing to press a button, and knows which floor I am going to. I mean, I press the same button and go to the same floor every day (unless I’m hungover, then it’s a lottery). Surely Otis must have these things in R&D as we speak? Oh, and it needs to send me an SMS when the hot girl on the 3rd floor is about to get on. That would be nice.
3. An AutoStart Coffee Machine
I need a coffee machine which starts brewing 5 mins before I arrive at the office, and automatically refills itself when empty. With Starbucks. At my preferred strength. If it can’t do that, it should at least sent me a text message when there are only two cups remaining. Why two cups and not one? Because then I would have to put on a new pot…
4. An intelligent, self-vacuuming keyboard
I spend a lot of time at the keyboard. Keyboards need to get smarter. Being a 2-fingered typist (Mavis Beacon never had her wicked way with me) I want a keyboard which predicts what I will type and does it for me. Yes, I know software like Activewords can help, but can’t you build that logic into the keyboard? I also need my keyboard to have some sort of mini roomba inside, so it doesn’t get all clogged up with my lunch debris. Oh, and that mini-vacuum needs to be a wet-dry one, and like to drink Starbucks, if you get my drift…
What technology would you liked to see improved in the short-term to make your life easier?
Call me crazy, but I’d love a mobile phone that just makes calls. No games. No ringtones. No animated display. No camera. No SMS. No bluetooth. No browser. Just a phone. THAT would be the future.
I would like to have my Jeep tell me when it’s having problems. It doesn’t have to be super specific, but something like, “Hey, there’s something amiss with my battery.” At least it would give me a place to start instead of thinking I was out of gas or something (since the fuel gauge doesn’t actually work).
I would also like a bed that rises up at the head so if I’m hitting the snooze one too many times, it will just rise up on the one side and I’ll slide out of bed onto my feet. (I guess I wouldn’t be able to tuck in the sheets at the foot anymore.) But then it should also have an automatic alarm shut-off because I’m out of bed.
My espresso machine should know what temperature to steam my milk. There would be at least 3 settings:
1. I’m cold and I want really hot coffee.
2. Normal.
3. I’m in a hurry and I’m going to guzzle it but I don’t want to scald my mouth.
Hmmm… What else…
A cat hair collector. Something smart enough to attract the cat hair in the house, but not the cat.
How about a bull-shit-O-meter ???
That way, I can tell who is full of shit and who isnt.
Would be wonderful in finding out false friends and extremely useful in business so I dont take so many hits on my company anymore. Cheap ass clients and employees both screwing my company over is doing me in.
Oh, and I would like something to estinguish the little voices in my head. . . . . .
Definitely a washing machine for humans. Wouldn’t it be lovely to step into a metal contraption after pouring in some shampoo and shower-gel and have a machine do the work for you every morning? And obviously, it would be pretty cool if the machine dried you off too so there’s literally NOTHING you have to do.
Ah the dreams of the insane…
you know when you are asleep. your basicaly doing nothing. if you could get into bed and put on wierd helmet that takes your mind into this dream world where you can do alsorts of things for eight hours. abit like the matrix except you can also connect to your job and finish the rest of that paper work.
also a computer that isnt a giant ugly thing sitting on a desk. again like tyhe matrix you put your self in it so you can connect your self as fast as you can think it.
also instead of sending millions of people out to die in wars or blowing others to hell with neuclear bombs. all wars should be resolved in yet again a place where people insert the minds in. if you die in there you can get put back in and therefore no yellow letter going home to your family.
a washing machine that gathers up all my dirty laundry scattered around the flat, wash and iron them before hanging them back in my wardrobe.
hmmm, come to think of it, i used to have one of those before i moved out of my parents’…
The idea of mobile phone that just makes calles ain’t that bad. However I’d still like it more if it was able to receive calls too
Oh, and can’t imagne life without sms. 
But the think that I would like to have is some kind of teleporter. Clap clap and I am at school. Clap calp and I am back home. Clap clap and I am on the training. Clap clap and I am sucked into a black hole.. Would be amazing
I like the cat hair idea, but with a twist…. have clothing that DOESN’T attract cat hair.
Intelligent elevator
I lived in Brussels for a while. I sued to go t the tax administration there. They had a sort of intelligent elevator. In fact, there was an “elvator chain”!. That is, there were two sets of several elevators in a row, moving all the time. Some to go up and some to go down! They were moving all the time, so if youmissed, say, the one to go up, never mind, there was another one following the first. You just had to be quick at stepping on to the elevator!
When you wanted to get off, you got off at the right floor!
I t was rather scary, as you had to be quick to step in or off!
I don’t know what happened if you never got off!!!
Cheers,
Misha.online
when I was a student I woke up every morning with the wish of the super pill of knowledge, one for each exam… That would be an improved, not so technologic, pill!
Today I would wish for a rather “stupid” cashcard that would raise the amount of money staying in each time I take money out!!! Wouldn’t that be the most clever “stupid” intelligence?
sportychick – I like that idea. The simple ones are alweays the best.
aimee – for the car idea – doesn’t OnStar do that now? The bed is a great idea. The cat hair collector is genius – I have an idea for a blog posting on that formulating right now…
doo dah – I think I have one of those built in
june – the cat does that for me, a few licks with that tongue and I am clean as a whistle !
howdy-doody – that’s a great idea. tap into the the world of the subconscious
frozen ananas – LOL
ania – I have a teleporter – it is called a vespa
slowhand – now you’re talking!
misha – but will it send me a text message when the hot girl from the third floor gets on?
e.i. – I like the idea of the intelligence pill. As far as the ATM card is concerned, just use one belonging to a friend or relative – that works for me !
A transporter that you press a button and transports you to anywhere in the world!
er.. yeah
for the time being I’ll clutch onto my harry potter portkey
I would love a personal paper recycling machine. All of the things at the office that get printed by mistake or you realize you need to make corrections to – pop them into the machine and every now and then – voila! Fresh new paper! You wouldn’t have to buy new paper, and you could actually get more paper by using junk mail to recycle. All of this without the hassle of shredding and taking it to the recycling bin.
keerti – if you had a transporter, would you still arrive late for meetings? I only live 5 minutes from my office, but I still arrive late…
sherrieg – I would want a machine that recycles my old paper as origami shapes…
HAHAHAHA! Oh lord, that was rich…
Nice stuff, kid
I second the razor, idea. I cut my leg rather gruesome, once.
On vacation I saw this public bathroom where one pays a quarter, does whatever they do, leaves, the bathroom locks up and self washes. How’s that for technology? Personally, I’m just fine with my bathroom at home. Thanks.
Hey ..some really cool pictures you have… what is the cam you use and also , i saw that vespa (scooter ) pic how d you manage that bright colour? something to do with the camera mode? Pl. lemme know.. thnks!
I want a car where you can get in and enter your destination and it just drives you to where you need to go. It can tell when a car is in front of you, knows based on the road you are on and where you are what the speed limit is…and I guess it would have to have sensors to know when a there is a red light ahead. I could get a lot of things done while riding along in my self driven car.
I’m surprised nobody suggested a magic beer fridge… a device which would ensure that you always have a frosty cold beverage at your fingertips… not only would it make sure your glass was always full, but it would brew it itself, thus eliminating the need to run out to stock up, and make those equally annoying trips back to drop off the empties…
A device that reads brain waves and converts them into computer-readable data. This way we could write dozens of pages without pressing a key. Also, it would be cool to play games on.
I would very much like, no, make that love, a six foot black drag queen robot (so that her feelings can’t be hurt when people respond with hostility.) She will take care of all the unsavory aspects of my life and remind me to ‘think twice before going outside and featuring yourself in that number, honeychile!’ whenever I’m on my way out.
Do you by any chance mind if people link you to their blog?
Cool image.
Hmmmm.. ..I’d like a wallet that always has enough coins to pay the bus. I don’t mean a wallet that’s a factory of coins and bills, just a wallet that’s gives change when you need it.
P.D.: ¿Visionaire, him? I usually like cynism, but this is definitely too much for my understanding..
super footwear girl – thanks!
mckenzie – I have been in one of those bathrooms when they self-wash – interesting…
darshan – thanks. The colours in the vespa shot I think you are referring to are down to lighting and some minor tweaks to levels.
eye of the hurricane – I call that a taxi-cab.
dr. the bob – now you are talking! That’s my sort of invention
author312 – doesn’t the government already read our brain waves?
jromer – ok…
jonnyspace – thanks.
don noxin – I made that link tongue-in-cheek – it is supposed to be for comical effect …
How about an airplane equipped with an emergency parachute (I mean not for the passengers but for the plane itself to save it from crashing)? I think that would be cool.
How about a rewind and fast forward button. That way we could undo the mistakes, relive the great times, and fast forward past the boring stuff.
I wouldn’t mind a robot, as a student since I’m going to be in debt when I come out of Uni, I think I DESERVE something/someone who can do the washing up, do my assignments, wash my clothes etc for free. Any takers..?? lol
dref – that would be a big parachute! Nice idea.
hobbes – how do you know it’s boring if you ffwd through it? That means you would have to live the experience first…
joe – I think they call those types of people slaves, and you’re not allowed them any more, so a robot would make sense.
Honestly, you know what I’d like to UNdevelop? Those damned automatic flush toilets. I always feel like someone’s looking at my butt. I’LL decide when to flush, thank you very kindly! And why was that a priority invention in the marketing world? Over say, the intelligent elevator?
Thanks for enduring my rant. =)
no poor people
no rich people
We are all on the same level
anita – I agree. Those things worry me, especially if they decide to malfunction…
eleanor – I’m with you on that one.
I can’t tell you how many keyboard manufacturers we have pitched to build ActiveWords into their keyboards…So far we aren’t doing well, but great idea…