In the Drink – Part 1
27Apr2006
It’s not often I find myself writing about something non-alcoholic, so this is a rarity, but I have to say that recently I have become quite partial to these trendy sport drinks, particularly to vitamin water. I just can’t get enough of it.
But there is one problem, which causes endless minutes of agony … that is the number of available varieties, and their names.
I always find myself in a quandary over which one to choose. The process goes like this:
- Go to the refridgerator
- Open the door
- Look at the selection
- Try to decide whether I need focus, power, energy or endurance today
- Decide that I can’t make up my mind
- Then decide that I need all of those attributes to be at my best
- End up taking 4 bottles every time I visit the fridge
- Spend the rest of the day visiting the bathroom
So I am certainly focused on being able to pee longer, harder and with more splashback than anyone else, so I guess the marketing must work.
This is one of the first things I end up reading as I return home from Italy…and I can’t stop laughing!
An ad of coca cola light says that life has the taste that you give to her. If you ask me, with reference to previous posts of paradise found, I would say that Mondays require “focus”, the mid-days “endurance” and Friday-weekends, “power and energy” alternatively! Just an idea to avoid… at least… splashback!!!
Ah yes, the dark consequences of living in an affluent society. I know precisely the feeling you are talking about. I often get it when buying corn flakes. Standing there and watching the shelves for 10 minutes. And then it strikes me: Does it really matter?
40 brands… of what?? Reminds me of Springsteen: “57 channels and nothing on”.
Evere read “The Dice Man” ?, a hilarious book.
Why not speed it up? Decide on a colour before you go to the fridge. And then pick one at random. Get more time to shoot those great pics you make!
Are these the new version of the “smart drinks” from back in the day?
Now if you’re simply looking to become a power-whizzer, why not just stick with the original Maker of Outstanding Urinations and enjoy a few beers for breakfast?
Hi Tom,
This product is a total scam. Check the label and see the sugar content. From memory I believe that each bottle has 30- 40 g of sugar – the same as coke !
I guess this explains your recent weight gain and apparent slowness on the squash court
)
Drink good old fashioned Bermuda water tank H2O.
G.
p.s. I like the picture.
My husband has already told me that I sound like a buffalo peeing on a flat rock. Can you top that?
mckenzie – thanks
e.i. – maybe glaceau (the company who make vitamin water) should make a drink called “Splashback”?
adam – I like the random idea – will need to try it…
pirate – yes, or as they are called in one supermarket in San Francisco – New Age drinks. The problem with beer is I get into trouble drinking it at the office…
gavin – sometimes sugar is good, especially when I don’t take it in any other form – except for that sweet feeling of kicking your butt on the squash court!
nonblond – I can pee into a champagne bottle whilst wearing a kilt whilst surrounded by 400,000 Hogmanay revellers in Edinburgh. It’s not as noisy but probably a little messier…