Looking for Answers
5Apr2006
It has been a busy week so far, and my brain (and my crackberry) are just overflowing with things I want to put down on (electronic) paper. So here are just a few of the random thoughts which have sprung to mind this week:
- Why is the grass always greener?. Why is it never browner, yellower, or even bluer (for you music fans)? That has always puzzled me. The grass in my garden is not
alwaysever green…and if the grass is greener, does that make it even harder to get those grass stains out of my trousers? And will OxiClean work like Billy Mays says it will? - If you buy frozen rats for your pet snake, how long do you microwave them for before feeding them to your constricting companion? I have yet to see a microwave with a button for ‘frozen vermin’. Can you feed snakes the rats without defrosting them? And would that be on the rocks? I have not ever really wanted a pet snake, well, unless it’s an asp, because I’ve always wanted to say ‘Hey, nice asp’. And I would call it ‘Smart’ (think about it). It reminds me of the single woman who called her cat ‘Honey’ so she could return from work and say ‘Honey, I’m home’. I can’t work out if that’s sad or not…
- Can I get Guinness on Prescription? I have a pregnant lady friend who has been told that she has an iron deficiency and should drink Guinness daily. Whoa – that immediately brings hundreds of questions to mind – Can she get a prescription? Can she claim that back on insurance? Can she take it intravenously? Is it two pints three times a day? Can I transfer to her doctor? Will white blusher on my face be sufficient to fool her doctor?
- Why shouldn’t you whistle on a boat? Surely if it’s a sailboat you want wind? Don’t ships have whistles? Doesn’t that count?
Anyway, that’s just a few of the thoughts rolling round in my head. Do you have answers? Do you have questions? Should you care?
solution for your pet snake:
1. rat soufflé – it kinda requires oven work.
2. rat tartare – with raw egg
3. rat lasagne – spinich to add color
4. rat sashimi – wasabi recommended
5. rat phaitai – without bean sprouts
6. Kung Pao Rat – medium spicy
7. rat taco
8. quarter pound of rat ( or Rat royale european version)
…
Good to see you back, Tom.
(Ana, I havent had breakfast yet, you are making me hungry.)
ANSWERS TO YOUR PONDERISMS:
1) I will always want what isnt mine, I am a woman.
2) ewwwww, didnt I tell you to keep the snakes away from me?
http://roosternoodlesoup.blogspot.com/2006/04/critters-i-can-do-well-without-on-this.html.
3) I would prefer a nice chianti and fava beans.
4) “don’t tug on Superman’s cape, dont spit in to the wind, don’t pull the mask off the ole Lone Ranger and ya don’t mess around with Slim” bo bo bodebo do dooooo do
AND, MY QUESTION TO YOU:
Every work day, my alarm goes off, and I could pull the covers up over my head (often times do) and could go back to sleep for hours on end. BUT! Come Saturday morning, no alarm – I still wake early and cannot go back to sleep.
Is this an internal, nocturnal or extraterrestrial thing?
HELP NEEDED ASAP, as Saturday is quickly approaching……….
Ana, that’s disgusting!
Tom, did you realize that almost all regular readers of your blog are women? Did you ever suspect that the feminine species (yes, species) feels it has so much in common with you? Or maybe just finds you interesting.
tq,
Re: The Guinness, it may take a little more than white blusher my friend. What a great thought though, that the black stuff could be on prescription….
GdV.
My mom tells me that in Europe when she was a kid, her doctor prescribed red wine to boost her red blood cell count. Sounds like good science to me…
sporty chick reminded me, when I was a toddler, I had kidney issues. The Dr told my Mother to give me a can of beer a day.
I assume that is the reason it goes right through me, or is that because I am a woman?
TomQ, I joined in HNT, when you going to? Your mirror pic would have qualified!
Here (in Canada) Beer would never have to be prescribed… its a way of life.
do have tothaw the rats but not heat them. no need to microwave just set it on the counter for a day.
You can’t whistle on a boat? Huh never heard that.
Oxiclean works well on organic stains- Food, grass, etc.
dr the bob, sounds like my down under home!
beer is a way of life indeed. why i even have photographic proof from my first birthday… 
i hear drinking guiness puts hair on the chest. might try to convince my doctor that i have chest hair deficiency and urgently need a prescription!
doo dah, i have the exact same problem on weekends!!! perhaps the trick is to set the alarm and pretend that it’s monday every saturday. as the wiseman always says, forbidden sleep dreams best.
have a good lie-in on saturday and sweet dreams!
ana va havana – is there a rat cookbook somewhere? Are rats South Beach diet friendly?
doo dah – good answers. And as for your alarm clock question – I set my alarm clock at the weekend just for the pleasure of being able to hit snooze endlessly…
meow – is that because of my feminine side, or do they all just come here because of Hamish? I think I know the answer…
gdv – agreed. I am sure it is in some parts of Ireland. And meow – not everyone here is a woman – I know for a fact that gdv isn’t (except for at the weekend)…
sportychick – thanks for another good drinking excuse to add to my arsenal…
doo dah – as for HNT – which half?
Dr bob – I know, I’ve been there on many occasions. Is that a reason why I love Canada so much?
mini driver – a rat on the counter all day does not really set my tastebuds alight. Thanks for the insight.
Thumbtack – Bermuda is just like Australia in miniature. Sun, sea, sand, great outdoor lifestyle, laid back culture, too much alcohol.
frozen ananas – the last thing you want is a hairy chest…
I think it may be the slight alliteration that makes green grass flow easier from the tongue than brown or yellow grass. And I’m not sure I know anyone who would want browner or more yellow grass. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong.
Can you really buy frozen rats for your pet snake?! If you can would you really want to thaw it out in the same appliance you thaw your chicken in? And people think salmonella is bad enough on it’s own.
I do think the Honey the Cat thing is just a little sad. Well maybe quite depressing is more accurate. I hope I never turn into a crazy cat lady. Come to think of it, that may be my biggest fear in life. What’s yours?
Oh, and by the way, Billy Mays scares the crap out of me.
PS- the picture in this one is beautiful. I love it!
AllyKay – thanks for the comments. I don’t have a biggest fear, really. I don’t really have any little ones either.
Nice one, Tom.
How often do you make it Canada-side? And what keeps bringing you back? Family? Friends? The need to see snow?
BTW, are we the only 2 dudes here? If so I think I like our odds. *L*
Ana, how about some ratatouille. I was waiting for you to suggest it…. would go nicely with the chianti and fava beans :-b
I’m concerned a doctor suggested alcohol to a pregnant woman, surely there must be better ways of getting iron that won’t endanger a fetus. But once the kid’s born bring on the keg!!
ps – what does Hamish think of frozen rats??
Dr Bob – I just love the place (especially West Coast). Canada is an easy (and therefore frequent) place to get to from here – only 3 hrs to Toronto. Last year I spent 5 weeks travelling in Canada – West, then Toronto, then East. Oh, and they are good odds
monqueii – ratatouille – I guess I should have seen that one coming. As for pregnant women and alcohol, I think it all comes down to moderation. And Hamish is scared of rats, alive or dead. Actually, he is scared of most things (except sleep).
3 hours? That’s it??
Damn *L* it takes me longer to grab a bus and visit my dad!
Well, next time you’re thinking of heading back this way you’ll have to let me know, yeah?. We’ll knock back some pints and paint the town 7 different shades of red!
My Curiosity is also scared of everything. they are so purrfect for each other. They could bump noses and then run away–how cute. I put a picture up on my site so Hammish could see her. I am no photographer though.
Dr Bob – absolutely, although my preference is to paint the town 7 shades of black, if you get my drift…
mini – I checked out the pic, they look very similar, although Hamish is a slim 15 lbs. I don’t know if he would ever be fearless enough to bump noses with another cat…
Here hee dr the bob…sooo true. that is a given.How do you think most women GET pregnant up here…
Grass mmmm is that during the winter or summer. Becasue it is brown here on both sides of the fence for a good 5 months of the year. Sometimes white. I don’t think anyone care if the color changes.
My snakes would only eat fresh rats. Maybe that is why they died …Canada is supposed to be rat free. Poor snake.
Maybe sailors can’t whistle. Can you ARGH and whistle at the same time?
Oh sorry I wasn’t supposed to ask more questions was I? Ops another..