Exit Cali
15Aug2006
Leaving SFO in airport mayhem. My mind is buzzing with double espresso and the feeling you get when you have to be at the airport 4 hours early for a 7am flight.
- There’s a lady at the check-in counter with a dog in her bag – “surely dogs have liquid in them?” I ask myself. It would probably be even worse if the dog had a cell phone (hey, this is California). Would security make her put it in one of the big trash cans, or have her check it into the hold?
- A six-hour flight to New York with $5 snack boxes containing processed food. Gordon Ramsay eat your heart out. Hells Kitchen at 36,000 feet.
- I then realise the only gum I have is Wintergreen flavour. Oh no. I must have picked it up by mistake. The most vile, artificial-tasting gum known to man. What is wintergreen anyway?
- The on-board movie means I will probably have to buy yet another pair of those crappy $2 earphones. Which will then get dumped in a drawer at home with the other 37 pairs. One day I’ll get some Bose QuietComfort ones, I promise.
- Now that I am leaving the city, at least I can get rid of the 57 dollar bills I have in my wallet (George Costanza would be proud). Being in the city always means you need tip money – cabs, valets, doormen, tramps. With all those used notes I feel like I should be in a strip joint.
Ah Tom that nice American Airlines photo keeps on comming back! But have I been dreaming or do you have different versions of that same angle? I seem to a remember a much less shiny AA aircraft.
Wintergreen, what is that? When in doubt ask Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wintergreen
So I am sure that those chewing gums contain 100% natural plant extracts
Which reminds me of a great quote:
I am not a vegeterian because I love animals
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
And all that airport weariness… I too did a bit of flying just now, and really: since when do paperback books contain explosive liquids?
adam – Probably a different picture – one shown here. As far as Wintergreen is concerned, it still tastes bad – wikipedia says nothing about that!
wintergreen gum honestly tastes exactly like natural wintergreen. my folks have it growing wild on their property in michigan, and we used to chew the stems all summer long for minty fresh breath. well, those and sassafras leaves. hope this is helpful, and assuages your fears of the artificiality of the flavor!
Melissa – I guess it’s not artificial then. I just hate the taste…
My mom lights Wintergreen candles during the winter holiday. Something about eating, chewing wintergreen just isn’t right.
But did you hang onto any coupons for a free guitar lesson in true George Costnanza fashion?
I suppose if you’re not from Cali things can’t look grim and hopeless. But survival in Cali, that is in other parts of Cali, like luxurious Orange County, can be somewhat surreal, if you’re into the Disney kind of thing.
While visiting OC, be sure to have a trusty vehicle as sites are further apart than they appear on the maps. All in all, it’s a great place to visit, Cali is, providing you have someone from here to show you the ropes!