Gold, Baby
25Sep2007
I think it’s time. It’s time to renegotiate my compensation package with my employer. Forget about US Dollars, my current compensation currency. Don’t suggest Sterling now Gordon Brown is at the helm of the UK economy. And definitely don’t insult me with Euros. Those damn Europeans use those.
What I need to be paid in now is gold. The prices are at 28 year high. And even though I prefer platinum and silver to gold, I can live with it – especially if I get more value from it than I do from the paltry US Dollar.
So I think I will start by asking for 2 or 3 Gold Rolex Submariners as my compensation next month. Tacky? Definitely. Valuable? Absolutely. And wearing them all will help me build up my biceps.
The month after I think a sackful of one ounce Gold Krugerrands will do. OK, so I won’t be giving a coin per bag to the schoolkid packing my shopping at the Supermart, but I might be generous and tell him to invest in gold. That’s worth a lot more to him in the long term. And with that sage advice, I will still force him to deliver the groceries to my Vespa.
The month after that, which is around Christmas time, I think a vat of Goldschlager will do the trick. The gold leaf floating in it isn’t really worth that much, but who cares – I will have a hangover with a golden glow. Actually, thinking about it, make that two vats of Goldschlager, and throw in a few casks of Jagermeister to boot.
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